Tuesday, March 1, 2011

A Guide To Sleep Paralysis 101

Hullo, this is a guide to having your own exciting sleep paralysis(SP). What is SP you ask?


Basically, you're paralyzed in your half-sleep half-awake moment, and as hard as you try wake up or call out to your roommate who is adding random girls on Facebook, you can't cause you're not fully asleep/awake and also cause you're paralyzed? Yes?

Some people associate this incident with demonic attack or being pressed by spirits or ghosts. I totally don't blame them cause when you're have SP, you can't move, but you are awake. You hear buzzing sounds in your ear, its kinda freaky (I once got sound of electronic sounds, which really made me pee). You feel like there's someone (or a group of people/beings) watching you. And you feel fear. Like seriously the panicky kinda fear. Like when you're alone in the toilet and you see huge winged cockroach at the door and you can't leave.

PS: I however believe in the existence of Demons and their insane power to possess humans, so if you do get SP all the time and it's affecting your life. Please consult your pastors. Cereally.

Ok ok. If you want more info on how other cultures or religions view on this go Google it yerself.

Straight to the point.
1. Sleep late, wake up early.
2. Try to do something to keep you awake. Like reading a book? Play a game?
3. Do until you get really sleepy. (You can skip all that if you're feeling sleepy and want a nap)
4. Take a nap.
5. Set alarm around 1 hour from the time you're napping.
6. Alarm rings, wake up shut it.
7. By this time, you should be like half awake/asleep.
8. Sleep facing upwards. Or supine position.
Learn some english mannn.

9. OK this is very important. Just when you're about the drift off to sleep. Move your eyes upwards. Basically like your trying to look at your brain. With your eyes closed of course.
10. If you done correctedly:

a) You'll first "pop" into a semi dream land. It's like you dunno whether your eye is close or open, but you can see your surroundings. Everything will be the same as where you're having your nap just alot grainier. However if you're seeing a different world, congrats, you've teleported. And I dunno how to get you back.

b) You'll hear voices in your ear. Buzzing its the most common. Music sometimes. If you hear voices.....er.. Anyway, any of those are really scary.

c) Next you'll realize that you're paralyze except your eyeballs. You can try moving your fingers though. It'll move a little.

d) You feel like you're being watched. And filled with fear.

e) Definitely get panic.

f) Experiment with the moment, if the panic haven't overcome you yet. Try to pull your body up. HAHA. TRY!!!

g) Trying too hard will cause your soul to lift from your body and you become a ghost... Just kidding. I've tried that. Never left my body.

So how? You wanna leave semi-funexcitingcrazyfreakyhorrorland? Aww, so soon.
This is how to wake up or fall asleep deeper.

To wake up. Stay calm, shut your eyes, and move your head. Or arms and limbs. Once moved you will snap out of it. Doesn't work on fingers and toes.

To fall asleep. Shut your eyes and clear your mind. Then you will sleep. And when you wake up. You will think that having a SP is a dream and it didn't actually happen to you. Which kinda sucks after all you've been thru.

What? What did you say? I'm making this up?

Fine lo. Believe whatever you want. But my success rate of having SP following those steps is a 100%. Not jesting. Either my methods really work.. or my house is haunted. hehehe.

Caution: The feeling of fear will be really real. Considered yourself warned. And practice at your own risk. I won't take responsibility if you're stuck in SP forever.

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